Yes, I am locked down with an autistic child in the house… but I intend to get through it!
So… thanks to COVID19 we get to spend days and weeks on end in the same space with an intruder who invaded our lives 7 years ago, Autism. Why do I call it an intruder? Autism loves routine and structure. When the schools were closed and church gatherings banned, my son was confused. He kept asking to go to school (especially on Wednesdays when they go to the field) and to church (he gets to eat biscuits and play with Pastor Tim’s stuffed animals)!
There was also the challenge of getting into a home school routine. I knew what to do, of course, but I had to keep him busy all day! Let’s just say that area is still a work in progress.
It has now been a month, and we are somehow getting into some kind of routine. I forgot to add that he loves going on walks and car rides, but we had to curtail both because the concepts of social distancing and hand washing are still not on his list of priorities.
Let me share a few tips that have helped me stay sane during this period.
The magic of the favorite snack
That favorite snack can really save you when you are on that important phone call, or when you have a bunch of emails to respond to. It will also save you countless trips to the kitchen! Oh – you can also use snack time as a teaching point- training your child to learn to put the snack on a plate and carry it to the table without help.
Establish a home routine
Being at home doesn’t mean a total absence of routine. You can choose to make a simple routine like waking up, brushing teeth, having breakfast, playing, doing some schoolwork, more playing, etc. This home routine will give your child a sense of stability and minimize meltdowns.
Get lots of activities that your child loves
Every child has one or two favorite activities that can keep them busy for hours. For us, coloring, sorting, and matching are our favorites. Get a coloring book and do one or two pages a day. Look on the internet and download some fun worksheets. You could also try out simple therapy activities (with the guidance of your therapist) that your child enjoys.
Don’t stress
It is perfectly normal to start worrying about the future of your child. One of my initial fears was what would happen to my son if he caught the virus and had to go to an isolation unit. After a few days, however, I realized that the more I felt afraid, the more unsettled my son would be, leading to tantrums and meltdowns. I decided not to stress over things that had not yet happened. You should do the same.
Take a day at a time
Today your child is in a bad mood, tomorrow your child is all set to learn and play with you! What a disappointing contrast, especially when you are working hard to make sure that the gains achieved during therapy sessions do not disappear. Don’t feel guilty if you are not able to do everything for your child on that day. There is still tomorrow and the day after to catch up.
Time out, perhaps?
Can you get some time during the day to something on your own, something to help you catch a breather? Try out that new recipe. Grab your favorite book. Talk a walk. Watch a series. Play relaxing music. If you don’t take care of yourself, you will become cranky, moody and irritable. Autistic kids pick up on emotions in a flash. They will either copy what you are doing or do all sorts of naughty things to get your attention. Take time out for YOU. Your child needs it as much as you do.
Keep in touch with your child’s therapist.
Suddenly the therapist is not able to come for sessions. What do you do? How do you handle the transition? First, you can ask the therapist to give you a home program with activities to do with your child. Second, you can organize for your child to catch up with the therapist using video calls. Lastly, keep the therapist in the loop concerning your child’s progress so that if there is anything negative that needs to be weeded out, the therapist can advise on a suitable course of action.
Keep in touch with family, especially those who your child is attached to
A phone call to the grandparents, or to a favorite aunt or uncle makes a huge difference. Try this when your child is having a bad day – it might just be what they need. If you can, make a video call – kids love them!
Enjoy your child
For working parents, spending time at home with your autistic child does not happen as often as you would like it to, right? With the work from home order, however, you are now at home with lots of time for your child. Make the most of it. Learn to communicate with your child using words and actions. Teach some new skills. Bum out on the sofa and watch Peppa Pig. These precious moments may only last a few minutes but will leave memories for a lifetime.
I hope the tips above will help someone who really feels like they have been locked down with autism. Let me share one last thing, though…
My son has been talking so much more in the last month. He has also expressed a fondness for a stray cat who has decided that our windowsill is its second home. The other day he decided to have a conversation with the cat which went something like this…
“Cat, it’s time for school!”
“Meow.”
“Cat, get your schoolbag!”
“Meow.”
“Cat, look at this picture of a cat. What is this?”
“Meow”
At this point, I was dying of laughter. These are the precious moments I referred to earlier – moments that we would not have had if it was not for the COVID19 lockdown!