From the heart of a Parent to a Therapist

How we wish therapy could be… everyday…

We love our therapists, and we need our therapists. They do so much, they know so much, and most of our kids cannot do without them. I have heard so many stories about therapists from parents, both good and bad. I would like to share a few things I have learnt, things that parents would like their therapists to hear! Here we go…

Please don’t try to change my child

Dear therapist, I know that my child has issues due to his disability, and I have accepted them. He is however unique in his own way, and his ‘weird’ likes and dislikes are part of him. Please use his interests to help him overcome his challenges, and don’t try to take them away. If you change him, he will be lost!

Please don’t ignore my concerns

Sometimes therapists make the parents feel like they don’t know their own children, by totally ignoring anything the parent says that may help the child. Dear therapist, I spend more time with my baby than you do, and I wish you would listen to me when I point out things about him. After all, when the therapy session ends, I will be left with my child, to deal with the realities of his life until the next session.

Please explain to me what you’re doing

We parents are pretty clueless, I admit, especially when it comes to therapy issues. Thanks to support groups, the internet, and parent workshops, however, we have an idea of what is expected of a therapy session. Dear therapist, please give me a plan of action, and explain the rationale behind the activities you are doing with my child. I need to understand what is going on so that when you are not there I can continue with the therapy activities. Let’s work together on this one.

Please teach me, I want to learn

I love the way you work with my child. I love the way you laugh with him as you do different activities. I want to be able to do the same when you are not around. Please, could you teach me how to do this on my own? I spend lots of time with my child, and it would make perfect sense if I knew how to do some of these activities.

Please give me value for money

Yes, good therapy is expensive, and as parents, we are more than ready to fork out whatever money we have for the sake of our kids, but the cost has to match the value. I know this may be a sore point for many therapists, but the truth is, some of you are overcharging us and not giving us corresponding value. Please consider how hard it is for us to get this money, and give us what we are paying for. After all, for us to get the money to pay you, we also have to give our employers and clients value.

Please treat my child as an individual

My child is unique, and as such, has his unique challenges. The interventions used should, therefore, be unique to him, not what works for other kids. Please, dear therapist, take some time to get to know my child, find out what his challenges are, and come up with a plan that works for him. Let him be himself, and not someone else, because that’s how God created him.

Please love my child

Dear therapist, I know that therapy is your job and your source of income. I also have a job, so I understand your situation completely. The thing is, if you approach therapy sessions with a mindset of making money, my child will sense it in a flash, and he will refuse to cooperate. Love him, accept him, and show him that you appreciate him, and you will achieve so much more! Most importantly, he will look forward to your sessions!

To all the therapists out there, I hope you understand where I am coming from as a parent. There are some really great therapists out there, some of whom I can’t afford, who do so much more with kids than we parents could ever imagine! I just wanted you to know how I (we) feel about some of the therapy experiences we have had over the years. Just remember, though, we appreciate all that you, our therapists, do for our kids. We would never be able to navigate this difficult journey without you. We are in this together.